Coercive Behaviors Checklist

The following is a small sample of Emotional, Verbal, and Physical Coercive Behaviors. Have you ever experienced or engaged in any of these behaviors? 


  • Monopolizing shared space (playing loud music when your partner is reading
  • Last-wording (always having to have the last word in a discussion or argument)
  • Usually being late for appointments with your partner
  • Walking away (a reverse chase)
  • Withholding work that was promised (delaying start-ups and completions)
  • Defining the truth (You don't know what you're talking about)
  • Blaming something else for what you do (I just lost my job/I just started a new job)
  • Mimicking your partner (imitating your partner's tone of voice when he/she is angry)
  • Running on (repeating over and over again what you have already made clear)
  • Ignoring your partner
  • Thumping, pounding or slapping objects in front of your partner
  • Making abrupt forceful body movements in your partner's presence
  • Slamming doors
  • Restricting your partner's physical movements (sitting him/her down)
  • Pushing your partner

Click here for a comprehensive list of Coercive Behaviors


In Men In Progress, you learn to recognize what we refer to as The Moment of Fatal Peril. The Moment of Fatal Peril clearly marks the starting point of every incidence of your violence. Like the yellow light in a traffic signal, it lets you know that passing it will result in violence. The Moment of Fatal Peril is a moment of shock or fear when your right to rule is challenged. This is the moment when you begin a cycle of desctruction, or not.


If you learn to notice your Moment of Peril, you will be able to pin-point exactly when you decide to use coercion to enforce your old-fashioned right to rule.


Coerce means 'to force'. Coercion is an effort to obtain the bodily sense of superiority that the image you depend on for your imagned superior sens of reality lacks at the Moment of Fatal Peril.

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