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What If?

By Marvin K. White

What if God was at work and got a call from Jesus who was crying and scared, saying “Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Mother, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour? Mother, glorify Your name.” What if God didn’t know what was going on and whispered into the phone outside of the earshot of the supervisor, “I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.” What if God was at work and got another call from one of Jesus’ friends who confirmed that Jesus was in trouble? What if Jesus’ friend said some dudes were planning on trying to kill her? What if God had just gotten this overtime working graveyard and couldn’t afford another write up for talking on the phone on the job? What if God couldn’t get off work because God had used up all of God’s sick leave from all them other times God got this call? What if God comforted God’s-self hoping that God taught Jesus right? What if God was like a lot of mothers in West Oakland? What if God could hear Jesus crying to God and God couldn’t do anything? What if God’s daughter was killed in a drive-by? And what if God only had God’s-self to comfort God? What if God knows who witnessed God’s daughter’s murder and they knew God knew they saw and they still didn’t come forward? What if snitches don’t get into heaven? What if God knows who did it and didn’t press charges? What if God felt responsible? What if God remembers saying “This is My beloved Daughter, in whom I am well pleased.” but also remembers all of the time that God wasn’t able to go to back-to-school night, hear her teach at temple, top the cheerleader pyramid, get home for evening supper to hear about her day healing lepers? What if God couldn’t bring God’s self to identify the body and had Mary do it? What if God didn’t have the money to have the body embalmed and had to depend on women like Ellen to take care of it? What if God heard the body was missing? What if God couldn’t afford a plot at Rolling Hills or Arlington? What if God couldn’t sleep for 40 days because people on the news say they saw Jesus in Jerusalem with his disciples and Paul was on the news saying he was on his way to Damascus and Jesus tried to blind him and Cleopas said he was on his way to Emmaus and saw Jesus and the amber alert didn’t even blink when somebody spotted her on Magnolia? What if God didn’t know what to believe? What if God was inconsolable and besides God’s self? What if God was rocking God’s self, crying, “Katrina, Katrina, Katrina, Katrina? What if it was a day like today and God heard something through God’s grief and God looked up and there to God’s surprise was God’s son Jesus? What if God can be surprised? What if God didn’t know these tears God was crying because God had never had a son go through hell just to come home? What if God cried harder when Jesus came home than when he left home? What if God leapt from creation and towards Jesus and Jesus leapt from death towards God and they collapsed into each other’s arms like they were both running from somebody? And what if that hug is what all of creation feels like when we see God seeing us? What if God’s children back in God’s arms is what we’re celebrating this Resurrection Sunday? What if God doesn’t know so when God sees you its like the first time God is holding God’s child? What if God does not want to rehearse that response? What if God becomes God every time one of us makes it home? What if we all make it home? What if the God of the outpouring is now the God of the inflowing, leaping up and opening God’s self to receive us like a child coming home after a report to the contrary? What if God gets to pray and we are God’s answer every time? What if… What if… What if…

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